It's expensive to be a master's student these days (don't get me started). I'm not talking about the books' prices or laboratory expenses. What I'm talking about relates to the time you spend on nothing. Those hours you spend reading stuff and later realizing that it was a total waste of time. You hate a particular lesson, and you get lucky in the assignments, and when you like the lesson… well, you're fucked up because that means no one else would like it. And all of a sudden, it's also the first day of your period, and your father, who has been sick for years, has a bad day, and you're not as skinny as you used to be, and you can't call your boyfriend, who is 900kms away from you. How am I supposed to be creative in a life like that? How am I supposed to feel ok? How am I supposed to laugh and dance and travel, like many other 24-years-olds? This is fucked up.
I didn't plan for any of this. No one ever prepared me for this. “it's two days a week," they said. Well, each day feels like an eternity to me, and I'm not even doing well at university. I did "OK" in the previous term, but it made me hate my university cause what kind of a grading system puts me on that level? It's expensive. I'm starting to hate taking the bus. I can't sleep in there anymore. I hate taking notes. I can't focus anymore. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN THE THESIS. Fuck this system. Fuck my academic validation seeker mind, who decided to do this shit instead of finding a tedious job like any other sane person.
And don't get me started, I told you. Are you happy right now?
