https://virgool.io/feed/@masoud30376 ...I write to let it rot on the page, not inside me. Unfiltered, unpretty, but real. No edits. No masks. Just the quiet mess I call truth. fa 2026-06-18 20:27:21 https://files.virgool.io/upload/users/88907/avatar/ergbQ8.jpg?height=120&width=120 https://virgool.io/@masoud30376 https://virgool.io/@masoud30376/dark-side-me-zrghsebjuwcv ...My dark side says: I'm not the kind of boy who is attractive to girls. I have no girls in my life who even likes me. Once I had one, and I lost her, do you know how? I pray days and months for a chance an opportunity, when God provides it, I just blow it up, and now every fucking single moment I think of her and think how useless I am. Although I sincerely wish her happiness and success, it still hurts. I feel like I'm not enough at all. I have nothing to be proud of, absolutely nothing. Not only that, but I don't even have a real friend. No one counts on me; no one even sees me. Some nights I feel like my thoughts are attacking my heart, squeezing, clawing, and crushing it, leave it alone and then do it again and again. And I try to pull it out from my chest so I can save it; my tears wet my pillow, but not works. God, that's horrible. It's very hard to accept I'm alone. I'm losing my hope and I hate myself more than anything, but I can't run away from myself and ask me to face myself so I can answer it with a punch in your face. Even I don't have the courage of suicide.But the only and only point is that I trust in is God, and I kinda believe that, if anything can save me or saved me one day, that would the Miracleand the Miracle must happen. 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 Thu, 04 Dec 2025 00:16:43 +0330 https://virgool.io/@masoud30376/%D8%B7%D8%A7%D9%82-%D8%AB%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%A7-h4qy1xaiml65 یه جایی توی اهنگ طاق ثریا چاووشی میشه گنجشک گلویم شرح است چو منصور .......... بر دار تو هستم غربال تو هستم.برام سوال شد یعنی چی حالا اینجا رو باش. مصرع اول یعنی صدای من باریک، لطیف، دردناک و نافذ است مثل صدای گنجشک که نه بلند و کرکره‌ای، بلکه نازک و ناله‌طور هست از طرفی در ادبیات فارسی، "گنجشک‌گلو" گاهی به کسی گفته میشه که دل سوخته است و از درون میسوزه ، اما نمیتونه اون رو به‌راحتی بیان کنه؛ یا اگر بیان کنه، بسیار ظریف و پنهان میگه."شرح" یعنی بیان، بازگو کردن، فاش کردن راز. و "منصور" اشاره به منصور حلاج داره، عارف بزرگی که در عین فنا در عشق الهی، فریاد زد: «أَنَا الْحَقُّ» (من خدایم!). -که اونم داستان باحالی داره -این فریاد چنان جنجالی بود که مردم عوام اون رو کفر خوندند، ولی عارفان فهمیدند که منصور حلاج دیگر "خود" ندارد و تنها خدا مد نظر اون بوده و سر همین قضیه اون رو اعدام کردند.پس "شرح چون منصور" یعنی:آنچه من می‌گویم، چون فریاد منصور حلاج است — یعنی از جایی می‌آید که دیگر «من» نیستم، فقط «حق» در من می‌گوید.و در کل این مصرع به زبان ساده یعنی صدای من، اگرچه نازک مانند گنجشک است، اما پیامی عمیق دارد: چون منصور حلاج، دیگر خود من نمی‌گویم، بلکه عشق و حق از زبان من سخن می‌گوید.#محسن_چاووشی #طاق_ثریا#ادبیات #آهنگ 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 Tue, 04 Nov 2025 14:48:15 +0330 https://virgool.io/@masoud30376/condemned-to-destiny-cplduezrzlmi Does she really have to accept it ? It has been several times that she was thinking to accept that she has to be alone for the rest of the life, and she feels numb right now, there were many moments when she fought with God in her mind, she was blaming him, begging him, thanking him, sometime she thought he was abandoning her, and another time she had this belief that he want the best things for her and not just for her but all people, Then life grew harder, and doubts formed about the beliefs she once held. But noting got better, maybe her faith wasn't pure enough.What did she want anyway, she fucked herself up not to do anything wrong, trying to be a good person, and she had expecting God help her within her way but,But she saw nothing, nothing at all. She was really pissed off. And the idea that she's not enough make it worst, who ever tried to have a simple gap with her, it ended up with yelling. She started listening to self-discovery podcasts and working on herself, but none of it had the impact it was supposed to have.Now she remembers her dream that once had, she was in a penthouse in her company, she had everything in that position, money, car, the lifestyle she had always sought, perhaps even fame ; to others she might have seemed very successful — but there was No Soule in there, and she had this feeling this impression of saw that dream through dark blue glasses, a cold color filter, she thought that was the feeling she would have to live with if she continued on the path she'd begunNow she stands at the threshold of acceptance, but beneath the surface lies an insistent fear, what if she changes her whole belief system and everything becomes what she once wished for? Can she still respond to those changes? At this point she takes her hand up and surrender to God's desirer as no one could continue this fight, “She is no longer angry, no longer alive to joy; only one thing bends her lips into a fragile smile — the thought of that beautiful life that might have been, as she lights another cigar and lets its smoke burn the dream away.”There is sometimes that no matter how hard you tried, you are doomed to fail or doom to do what you don't want. This is what people called Destiny, it is fucking strong and nothing can stop it. 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 Sun, 14 Sep 2025 12:00:23 +0330 https://virgool.io/@masoud30376/resurrection-the-promised-day-sbnkmnbzpmbp You come out from a pit like a grave, Your eyes open on a vast plain where there is absolutely nothing then something takes your attention, there are billions of billions people like you all have the same clothes a long gray or beige dress and there is no category or group of people whom you can separate. after a while you notice that the plain is a cemetery the sun stands there with no move there is nothing you can name it “THE TIME” sometimes a hot wind is slapping at your face its like the great sound storm that all that people fit in there, the storm never ever stop, it's hard for you to move but all of these not scary compare to the next paragraph. All people have one final goal: You must pay back any rights that have been taken from someone in your entire lifetime. Yeah. You must find them, you have to satisfy them with all your heart, and yeah, no one has anything to trade with, and every last fucking one of these people just cares about themselves, not even the mother takes care about her child love will absolutely lose its meaning there, the chaos itself is there, it's reigns, could you just imagine that chaos? I mentioned there is nothing named “time”, but you feel the true meaning of the waiting, waiting with stress and anxiety. In other words, the time is there but it’s not fucking passing until every last one of them pays whatever they did in their lifetime; it is the torture. What makes it scarier and scarier is that you can't even kill yourself; you have to endure and pass through it. May we be HUMAN! 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 Sat, 30 Aug 2025 09:38:36 +0330 https://virgool.io/@masoud30376/most-of-us-are-just-npcs-qk4zesmehxcu Lately, I’ve been drifting through thoughts of my own world, wondering—what’s the purpose behind my creation? There are characters in this universe—some noble, some wicked—who seem destined to shape the story. But me? I try, over and over, just to be noticed… maybe as a side-quest NPC, someone with even a small purpose. But it never works out that way.If you look closely, you’ll see the world has its own hidden order. There are the main figures—heroes or monsters, angels or devils—who drive the story forward. Afterward, people who play a meaningful part in their time and place, And then… there’s the third tier. Completely random background characters, just walking around the game with no real storyline.—just existing, and it's terrifying. That’s where most of the society falls. And even within that group, there are levels: some are successful, some are average, and some are struggling.I feel like I belong to the struggling group at the bottom of that third level who struggling to run away from the script that destined for me. But it wasn’t always like that—I didn’t feel that way as a kid. It's a painful realization. And the worst part is, no one truly understands one another. We're just simple NPCs, programmed to repeat the same things over and over, all carrying the same label: “humanity.”#NPC 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 Sun, 27 Jul 2025 23:46:14 +0330 https://virgool.io/@masoud30376/unfiltered-silence-xhevncxgzxuk I’m not here to impress or explain — I’m just hUnfiltered Silenceere to write. This space is where my thoughts spill raw, unfiltered, and sometimes broken. I don’t edit. I don’t decorate. I don’t chase meaning — I let it bleed through. What I write isn’t always pretty, or even true tomorrow. But in the moment, it’s real. Scarlet Rot isn’t about beauty. It’s about decay with dignity — about letting thoughts die on the page instead of inside me. You’re not here to understand me, and I’m not here to be understood. This is a quiet rebellion — a place where I can exist without permission. 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 🍁Scarlet Rot🍁 Mon, 21 Jul 2025 14:13:48 +0330